Friday, March 25, 2011

"Just Can't Hide This Feelin' Anymore": Be a Dork For What You Love

Be a dork for what you love! Do what you want, and don't fear peoples judgement. Everyone has their own little quirks. That's what makes us all so different.

It's sad seeing a person who hidea their rtrue feelings for something because they don't think it's popular. I say: if you like to l.a.r.p. in your free time, go ahead. If you like to collect rocks, go ahead. Etc.

I try to always stay true to who I am (not always perfect at it). I'm pretty eccentric, and I think that's one of my best traits. Here's a list of all the "uncool" things I like to do/think:

1.  I keep a list of all the books I've ever read.
2. I think that playing dugeons and dragons could be pretty interesting.
3. The Zelda theme makes me happy.
4. Going to the library makes me happy.
5. I watch anime

Ok, that's a pretty short list, but I could go on for hours.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Charactor Developement: Myself?

So I was working on my book I'm writing, doing some charactor developement, and I thought I should do that for myself.

Fifteen years old. Blond hair, blues eyes. Some people think she's funny. Has probablems with comparing herself with her older sister. She resents that B she got on her report card last semester. Likes to think that she is a good singer, in truth she is average. Likes to draw. Puts to much salt on her food. Tall, and skinny. Can eat what ever and stay the same size. Likes to show off her bicep muscles, and doesn't know why that annoys people. Doesn't know how to comfort people in moments of distress. One of her eyebrows has a calic, that makes it's hair stick up. She doesn't like the bags under her eyes. She is suprisingly shallow about one thing, height. She will never date someone shorter then her. She turns into a moody-monster when she is hungry. She doesn't know what she wants to be when you grows up, but she knows that she wants to be a mother and wife. She has planned out all of her children's names, and is shockingly determined to have an even number of two boys and two girls. She is confused and disturbed when other girls go as far as to desire a certain order to their children. Example: people saying that they want a boy first then a girl, then a girl, then a very. That disturbs her. She likes to post on a blog that has one follower, and no readers but herself. She hates having her nails painted. She has lived a suprisingly sheltered life.

My New Obsession: Don't worry, I'll limit it to ten this time

  1. Costco Muffins (Perferrably chocolate)
  2. Guys with natural black hair and green eyes
  3. Pesto on bow tie pasta
  4. Law and Order SVU
  5. Pretty Little Liars (can't wait for next episode!)
  6. Stardoll.com (My username is ll_lawl_ll)
  7. Cheez-its (the best things ever)
  8. Chocolate milk (I could live off this stuff.)
  9. Anberlin (Best band ever, I literally am in love with them.)
  10. Working Out (Whooo! Courthouse!)
Looking at my favorites your probably thinking, "Oh then she would love a costco muffin, pesto, bow tie pasta, cheez-it, chocolate milk milkshake, to eat while she works out and watches Law and Order SVU!"

The answer is: no. I would not like.

Baby Name: Yah, I already picked them out five years early...

Carson
Reason: I think certain boys names are cute on girls, and I really like names that end in "n." I also like "c" names.

Cadence
Reason: I like the sing called Cadence by Anberlin, and I think it would be cool to be named after a musical term. I really like the way it sounds also.

Boys names:
Cade
Colton
The boys names have no reason. They are just picked because I like the way they sound.

Anberlin: They are the true lyrics masters

Alexithymia:
"There's more to living then being alive."

Haight St.:
"Old enough to know, but too young to care."

Soft Skeletons:
 "When the light starts to burn, and the pain returns, I just wish that I could heal the hurt you feel tonight. There's life in your veins. These needles are chains, to hold you down. How can you expect to win this war, if you're too afraid to fight, if your too afraid to fight?"

Inevitable:
"I wanna break every clock
The hands of time could never move again
We could stay in this moment (stay in this moment)
For the rest of our lives
Is it over now hey, hey, is it over now
I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you'll ever have"

Godspeed:
"They lied when they said the good die young. Stay with me, stay with me tonight."

A Perfect Tourniquet:
"And I guess that's why they call it love, sadly unpredictable."

Cadence:
"Heartstrings, you're tugging at my heartstrings. My heartstrings. Helpless, I have become so helpless
to your touch, oh touch me somehow. Restless, you leave me restless, breathless wait for me."

Burn Out Brighter:
"Live, I wanna live inspired . Die, I wanna die for something higher than myself."

Never Take Friendship Personal:
"Innocence gone, never take friendship personal. If you can't hold yourself together, why should I hold you now? In a sense gone, never take friendship personal. If you can't hold yourself together, why should I hold you now?"

Realization: Sudden epiphany in creative writing class.

My whole life I've heard things like, don't judge any one by there appearence, or don't judge a book by it's cover and over cliches meant to say you don't know what some one has been through just by looking at them, so don't attempt to try judging them by the way they look, dress, or present them selves.

Though I found this statement to be true, I never really took it to heart, untell today. I was previously determined that I could tell who had the messed by home life, who had the troubled past, who the pedifiles were, etc. just by looking.

But, my whole look on life changed today during 4th period. I have creative writing 4th period, and todays prompt was on suicide. Our teacher read us a story from Chicken Soup For the Soul about a girl who failed at killing herself. (I'm trying to locate the story online. It's hard when you don't even know what chicken soup it is from.) The story was really touching. She gave us ten minutes to write about what ever the story reminded us of, and said we could go any direction we wanted with it.

So, I wrote my little page about depression, and suicide. I wasn't very confident with what I had writen, and  I haven't had very many life experiences with it. I had already done my manditory amount of sharing, so, I just kept my hand down and listened.
Almost everyone in the class shared. The were a variety of stories, personall experience or of some one they knew. It was a heart breaking experience, but at the same time it felt safe. It's weird thinking that we had all only been in the same class for about five weeks, and we were already comfertable sharing very personal stories.

People talked about their friends or relatives commiting suicide, or times they wanted to. The teacher even asked, "How many of you have at one time thought about suicide?" It shocked me to see that almost the whole class raised their hands. I didn't raise mine, because I felt embarressed to admit it. I didn't realise I wasn't the only one.

It was weird looking around the room, and seeing all of the hands raised. There were so many types of people, social groups, and ethnicities. I saw people who I thought lived perfect lives raise there hands. I had always thought they were perfect, and happy all the time.